What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Where do 5 gay guys go????? One Direction.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

if life throws you lemons you must be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

69

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

my egg roll

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does Kim Kardashian and a Navy Vessel have in common? They are both full of seamen!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's purple, blue, red, orange, yellow and green. A rainbow .

thumb_up thumb_down +8

there are three girls one said daddy why is my name rose because a rose fell on her head when yur a baby. daddy why is my name feather because a feather fell on your head when your a baby mumamhama, SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make a little girl cry?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops