How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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why did the man fart? because he felt like it.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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Q: What did the teacher say at the end of recess. A: "Recess is over."

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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School

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A black man walks up to a white man with a shaved head and boots in a bar He then hands him a ten dollar bill and tells him he dropped it

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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Why do black people like kool aid? Why It is a very hydrating and delicious drink

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why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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how does a a fat person dance? with his feet

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Tim: Hey Jennifer, do you wanna hear a joke? Jennifer: Okay Tim: Knock knock Jennifer: Who's there Tim: It's me Tim, you idiot

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What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

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Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

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what did the little boy get from santa claus on christmas? nothing santa isnt real

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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Caitlin Jenner has a mangina.

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James walks into a room he then leaves as the room is full of hot women but he does not find them attractive as he has a girlfriend and is also bisexual.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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