Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

Why was't the Elephant allowed on the Airplane? He didn't have a boarding pass

What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

Your mom is so poor; she doesn't have a job.

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

Knock knock How is ? Bond ,James Bond!

What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

What did the feminist say to the CIS white male? I respect you as a person.

Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

Why was the blonde fired from the M &M's factory? Her Masters degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the job she had.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

what happened to the man who is standing in the rain? he got wet

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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