Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? No one knows.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "What will it be tonight?" He then promptly remembers he is on anti-joke.co but is too late to react. The horse has already shit on the floor. This is the fifth time this week that this has happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If you send someone fudge, you should write them a poem with it Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Obama walks into a hospital....

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a man walk into a bakery, he sais... may i have a loaf of bread....

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's green and has wheels? A green car.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

- Knock, knock. - Who's there? - Immigration.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I like it, I like it becuase it is cream

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does two plus two equal? 4

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black person walked up to another black person, and tells him a pun the other black person laughs and walks away

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I think poop is tasty... just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

thumb_up thumb_down +10

courestaveesh garasow prau varadesh

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Can midgets still have big dreams?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what tall and looks like a jew?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There was once a boy who ate fire. He died of severe burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Did nims chinnie? Fins.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops