What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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Boys have swag, real men have class

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What's the heaviest part of an elephant? Its body.

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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The next sentence is true. The last sentence was a lie.

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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Why some people don't get the flu twice? Because they died!

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You ask him politely.

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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Whats the difference between a black man and a banana? Banana's don't hijack planes.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

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What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

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Link ate ink to make him sink.

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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What can eat, sleep, and reproduce? Not a rock, that's for sure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops