A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

if you are reading this your wasting your time

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and asks for directions to the nearest Applebee's.

Why is Dominic's nick name big D? Because the first letter in his name is D.

Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

Why did Bob fall over? He was impaled by a narwhal. -BG

What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

how can u tell if you have cancer if the doctor says so

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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