You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

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If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

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What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

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How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

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What did the comedian tell the audience? A well thought out joke that anyone can relate to because that is what the point of a joke is.

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interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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Whats Better Than an Anti Joke? sex...

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-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple

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Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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What's a good joke? Not this one.

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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