How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a stupid chicken wandering around.

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Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

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What's worse than having a worm in your apple? 2012.

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why was the boy crying he had cancer

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Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

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A man gets pushed in to a pole...

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What Did The Farmer When He Lost His Tractor? "Wheres my Tracto?"

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog with no legs

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My Muslim friend is always late to everything. We call him 9/12.

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Q. How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A. That obviously depends on the size of the bathtub and each individual infant.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

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What's 10 + 3 x 22 ? Cake.

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When life gives you lemons, you throw them at your friends. If they throw them back, duck

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

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I forgot what i was gonna say

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2 sheeps are outside having a great time One sheep walks up to the other sheep and says: hello The other sheep says: hello Now what I want to know: what ally do you get your drugs from

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A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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What is worse than 3 lesbians in a telephone booth? 6 squirrels donkey punching your urethra.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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three jews walk into a bar. then a bear mauls them.

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Tyler: Why'd the monkey fall out of a tree? Donnie: who's there Tyler: dude this isn't a knock knock joke...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops