Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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A black guy, a jew, and an asian walk into a bar, have a beer each, and then leave, because they have high-paying jobs and don't want to risk getting DUIs.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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roses are red violets are blue everyone is stupid how about you? -I'm not Im black

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just imagine like a whole dad no imagine like 1000 dads an army of dads ready to conquer

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My name is Harry.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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what do fish smoke? sea weed

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi would you be interested in learning about Scientology? No

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in a van headed to the slaughterhouse.

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What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

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Whats the difference between a house and a mouse If you think about it , quite a lot really

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because due to the crashing economy he feels the need tom travel far distanced for work and food to support his growing family, this causes him to take dangerous routes of travel through hazardous areas with fast moving automobiles that potential have the chance to kill or severely Maine the distressed chicken. Not only does he have to cross these roads twice a day he is also under the added pressure of many millions of people questions why he takes such chivalrous actions to save the his future descent and the steep decline in the population of chicken.

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being drunk in a mall sounds like it would be alot of fun . . . . . . . but that is public intoxication and that is against the law

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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What’s worse than being ruled by Adolf Hitler? Being ruled by Joseph Stalin.

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How much is that doggie in the window? $4.95 + Shipping&Handling

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A man walks into a bar. Then he buys a beer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops