What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!!

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

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"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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what do you call a bird that is gay bird a gaybird

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9 8 7

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting owl Interrupting owl- HOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops