How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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Your mom is so ugly, she suffers from severe depression and regularly contemplates suicide.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

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What the did the man say to his boss? You are my boss.

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

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Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

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what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

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*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

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What is the difference between a bitch and your ex-girlfriend? First of all, they are two different types of mammals. Second, dogs don't talk.

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Obama lin Baden.

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

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Q: What's long, hard, and full of sea men? A: A submarine.

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Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

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Q: What's the best part of having sex with twenty-seven year olds? A: By age twenty-seven the average person has reached sexual maturity, and has also developed mentaly enough to understand, and subsequently process the intimate nature of an adult relationship.

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A man on a plane convened his stupid flyer that instead of who in knock-knock jokes it what were, he thought it would funny. Later it really paid off, as they fly very close over water he says "knock knock" "whose there" " Captain Neverlands" "Captain Neverlands wh-...were" "Captain Neverlands IN WATER YOU DUMMY!!!!"

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So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

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if ruddell was gay what would he be? a gay prick

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Why cant Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles read? Because they are blind you racist.

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JAMIE STEGMAN IS A MASSSIVE DERP Jess Pots. YOUR A NOOB

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Why do black people have white hands and feet? Regardless of race or ethnicity, the skin on the palms and soles of the feet is always less pigmented than elsewhere on the body. In darker skinned people this fact is readily observable, but in light skinned people this feature of human biology cannot normally be discerned by simple visual inspection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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