Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The Moon Landing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

three white men are running after a black man,, the black man is winning the race

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened when the ugly girl asked her crush out on a date? He said yes. He found her personality quite attractive

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I was going to write a racist joke but there was too many black people watching me.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your Momma is sooooo poor, she struggles day by day to feed you and your 8 siblings while keeping a roof over your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats 1 + 1? 2

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Adam Sandler is still funny ! *cough*

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why some people don't get the flu twice? Because they died!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops