- Anti Joke

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

knock knock... who's there? your grandmother, now please let me in it's very cold outside. *you now proceed to open the door for your grandmother as she is elderly and you dont want her to freeze

W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

hi i'm a dick, i mean mitt romney

Girl look at that body, girl look at that body, I got passion in my pants... Actually I lied, I got a penis and testicles in my pants, but I'm afraid to show it because people might think it's small, sorry

What do you call a hispanic man hopping a large fence? A hispanic man hopping a large fence.

Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely white man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

Why did little Timmy fall down? Because he was shot in the head.

Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

Why did women scream loudly!? As the women was unexpectadly frightend!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Thats malarious! When something is so funny that... malaria

What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

What can fly? Lots of things

Why does the man ignore his wife? Because he is dead.

Kys

What did the boy dog say to the girl dog? Ruff

Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"