Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

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Why did Dave stop going to the laundromat? Because he was a suicide bomber.

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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How many gun shots does it take to kill you? 1..2... 3...4... Samantha reapeatedly kept shooting her enemy until she noticed that her enemy was Chuck Norris. So how many gunshots does it take to kill Chuck Norris? The world may never know.

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what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

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What is worst than your girlfriend's mother?? Osama Bin Laden's One

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Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

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what did the judgmental teacher say to a challenged student? your stupid

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A Jew walks on his way to work. He does not notice the quarter lying on the sidewalk and did not care for the dollar lying on the other side of the road.

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your mommas so fat she has been advised to diet and excercise or run the risk of terminal illness

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personality disorder And so do we

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What did the blonde waitress say to the man with a curly moustache? Good evening, are you ready to order?; yes [x2]; and what would you like with it?; certanly; there you go; no, I'm sorry; right.

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A Jew walks into Macy's

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Why did FiddleBob Joe chuck a stick of butter out the window? Because he wanted to see a butter fly

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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POLITE NOTICE: Management Committee here. Please refrain from posting any anti-jokes which are not offensive to protected groups.

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bill goes to the room.. why? to fing a broom riddle boz full of burtiouse.

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The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

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im saul and i love cock

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What did one wardrobe say to another wardrobe? Clothes.

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Whats black and can multitask? My IPod you racist!

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A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

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What do you call a black guy that steals a car? A father desperate to save his dying son who doesn't have a car to drive to a hospital

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Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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