Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

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What happens when you breed a T-rex and a mammoth? You can't, both animals are extinct.

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A Finn, a Swede and A Norwegian went to an island. The Norwegian shot them all.

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My name is me I like fired chicken!

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Knock knock" my mom says not to talk to strangers!"

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Why is Justin Bieber gay? Justin is attracted to the female gender

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Stop with the 9/11 jokes guys. They're just plane stupid.

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What did the Polack do in the rainstorm? He got wet.

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when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had down-syndrome

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Q: Why did the mom try to wake up a sleeping bag? A: Because it's morning and her kid is curled up inside fast asleep

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What did the resently released criminal get for his birthday? a nice sweater

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whats worst then antijokes? the holocaust

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I guess we will have to see, if I where to one day use my ways of thinking with the intention to become the most corrupt politician of them all, do you think I would succeed?

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

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what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

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Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

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A Jew walks on his way to work. He does not notice the quarter lying on the sidewalk and did not care for the dollar lying on the other side of the road.

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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your mommas so fat she has been advised to diet and excercise or run the risk of terminal illness

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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Why did FiddleBob Joe chuck a stick of butter out the window? Because he wanted to see a butter fly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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