An asian and white guy walk into a bar, the white man says to the asian "Do I know you from somewhere?" The asian says. "Yes, I used to go to college with you." The white man remebers him, and they catch up on life.

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What's the difference between Dick Cheney and Obama? When Obama shoots someone in the face it's bin Laden.

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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How many blondes does it take to skrew in a lightbulb? Usually just one.

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Peas

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Your mom is so nice.

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Three women are sitting in a bar. One is drinking beer, one is drinking wine and one is drinking vodka. Which one is the widow? The one whose husband is dead.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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Roses were red Violets were blue Until the Fire nation attacked Now it's all black

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what happen to the popo who got arrested? he told himself that he had the right to remain silent

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A police officer walks into a doughnut shop. He approaches the cashier and hands him 20$. He says "Here, I saw you drop this on your way in" he promptly leaves the store.

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What do you have Canasta!!! Were not playing canasta you stupid asshole

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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So, a man walks into a bar, and he ends up in intensive care, because the bar was very hot and gave him severe burns. He was on business in an industrial park.

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Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

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Yo momma so fat she should be concerned of contracting Coronary Heart Disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, abnormal blood fats, metabolic syndrome, cancer, osteoarthritis, sleep apnea, or even obesity hypoventilation syndrome

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Guess where my mom lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my dad lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my aunt lives Utah!?!?!? NO!!!! Trick Question b... she's dead

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware River? Men, to the boats.

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Why did Mufasa miss his doctor's appointment? Because he was trampled to death by wildebeest

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Why does the gaming console Wii suck? ????????????????I like ice cream????????????????

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Why did Rosie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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