how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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How did the Black man die at the KFC? Someone killed him.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Q: "What did the blueberry say to the cheesecake?" A: "I'm not your friend anymore!"

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why did the girl fall of the swing someone threw a refrigerator at her

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What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Whats the similarity between a rabbit and a grape? There both purple, except for the rabbit.

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

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What did the black jewish homosexual say to the conquistador? Nothing as they were both from entirely different time periods.

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A women walks into a bar which is means she is pretty rich to be able to have a bar in her kitchen

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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Why cant helen keller drive Because shes a woman

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I would tell you a joke but I'm not funny

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Why did the little boy tell his classmates jokes? To try and fit in for once.

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What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

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You wanna hear a joke? Me too

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What did the cookie monster eat? Food

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a jewish guy walks in to a bar says to the bartender says "I have aids" and the jewish man replys "my bad"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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