Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

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Why did Jake fall off his bike? His mom threw a fridge at him.

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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Why did Jenny fail her driving test? She was hit by a train.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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Q: Why couldn't the ginger play soul music ? A: He couldn't hit the right notes

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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Knock Knock. Who's there *gun shot*

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What's brown and sticky? Molasses.

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-oh But the farmer killed and ate him, because Bingo licked himself inappropriately

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A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

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Roses are black violets are black We are all black?! SHIT IM COLOUR BLIND

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How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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