You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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Women's rights

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

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why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

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Penis Gabriel - Go eat some ice cream! Boner McDaniels - No. Penis Gabriel - Ok.

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Why are all teachers stupid? They´re not. Why would you say that?

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What's worse than knowing you have Hepititis C? Not knowing.

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A duck walks into a bar. In the middle of writing this joke I realized that there were already jokes like this so I stopped writing this one.

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Ross Tumilty is gay 8===D

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Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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How did Helen Keller's Parents punished her? The put a doorknob on her door.

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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A man ate a lot of ice cream he had double bypass surgery 3 months later

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The Chicken was crossing the road one afternoon, he was fined by a police officer for J walking He made it to the other side.

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A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

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A Mexican, German, and a black man walk into a bar... They promptly exit due to the access amount of tobacco fumes in the air.

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How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

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How do they call a black man that works in a mine. Miner.

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I have a riddle. What's black and white and red all over? Nothing. That's impossible.

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Vagina jokes aren't funny, period.

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What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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