How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many jews can you fit in a car? It depends on how many seats there are, but some could double-buckle and stuff like that to fit more if necessary.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

#Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Catherine of Aragon was one. # She failed to give him a son #He had to ask her for a divorce. #That broke her poor heart of course. #Young Anne Boleyn, she was two #Had a daughter, the best she could do #He said she flirted with some other man #And off with the chop, went dear Anne! #Lovely Jane Seymour was three! #The love of his lifetime indeed! #She gave him a son #Little Price Ed #Then poor old Jane...went and dropped dead! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! #He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Anne of Cleeves came at four #He fell for the portrait he saw! #But laid eyes on her face, and cried #SHE'S A HORSE! I MUST HAVE ANOTHER DIVORCE! #Catherine Howard was five #A child of nineteen, so alive #She flirted with others, no way to behave #The AXE sent young Cath to her grave! #Catherine Parr, she was last #By then all his best days were past #He lay on his death bed, aged just fifty-five! #Lucky Catherine- the last stayed alive! #I mean, how unfair! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #You could say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! And the moral of the story is: Never buy a car without knowing it's background.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the judgmental teacher say to a challenged student? your stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I want to make a lamp shade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

"Why isn't Bud capable of reading?" Bud is a stone "Why can't Peter drive?" Peter is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do andy and Justin Bieber have in common? they are both 5'7

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how do demolish a building alkekwhakbar

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is hitlers favorite planet: jewpiter

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is black and white and cant get through revolving doors? A zebra with a spear through its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black guy that steals a car? A father desperate to save his dying son who doesn't have a car to drive to a hospital

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There's 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and muscular guy. 7 days later, the fat guy receives an invitation to the zoo. It turns he got a new job and his friends was so proud.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? If you look closely, it's not a chicken, it's a man wearing a costume. He's going to a halloween party with some friends. Sally was not invited.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the chicken cross the road. to get to the other side. but it didnt. ROADKILL

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A blind man and his dog walk into a store, the man lifts up the dog and begins to spin around. When questioned about his activity the man replies, "I'm just looking around"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Jacob licked out his buthole again. It was becoming a usual thing for him to do, it suddenly became one of his hobbies and wanted to lick more, so he started licking MR. Macs

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mother is so average in weight and in attractiveness.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does it mean when somebody is Jewish? They eat palahuardo por sinquevos for breakfast. Qua.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Mahmy

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops