John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock Knock DAMMIT WOMAN MAKE ME A SAMMACH

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Zafarfanugen the third: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bob: Who cares about some dumb chicken crossing the road! I am more interested in why three generations of your family would continually use such a ridiculous name!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was the black person playing hockey? Because he found an interest to the sport during his childhood years.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

what do you call a polar bear in a bathtub? No soap, radio

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

thumb_up thumb_down -33

So a jew walks into a bar!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

penis in the camel

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's better than being raped by a donkey? Pie.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Two men are talking: Bob: "Do you like fishsticks?" Joe: "Yes I do." Bob: "Your a gay fish."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Yo mamas so dumb she has to repeat the 10th grade...again.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A Chinese man a Mexican and an American are all on a plane. They are all trying to get rid of stuff they have to much of in their country. The chinese man throws out a bowl of rice and says " we have to many of these in our country" the mexican throws out a taco and says " we have to many of these in our country" the American throws out the mexican and says "we have to many of these in our country"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What is an antijoke? Not Knock

thumb_up thumb_down -33

knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I heard that the Boston marathon was a BLAST!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

My uncle was involved in 9/11... He called me before the plane crashed into the twin towers, his final words were so comforting... "ALLAH AKBAR!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops