What was Dillon's old name? Dillon, I lied about the old name part.

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A woman walked into a bar. She dragged her drunk husband off his stool and left.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

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Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

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A white, black, jewish, and hispanic person apply for a job as an accountant who gets the job? One of them.

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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the only thing funny about this website is the fact ciaran hawkins is in love with it

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Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

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Two arabs fly into a bar in the twin towers

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Why was the five-year old lying in the middle of the sidewalk? Because he was dead.

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What did the one eyed boy say at the movie theater? 3D was a boy choice

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

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A car walks into a bar.

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Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

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Whats black, white, and Asian all at the same time? A panda

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Your mum is so fat, she is likely to do die before my mum.

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? It's Jeff. Hi there Jeff, come in, the doors open.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops