Guess who is violent. Osama

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I brought a parachute as carry on luggage, I was pulled aside at security and missed my flight.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on the training and hence productivity of the babies.

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one bright morning in the middle of the night two dead boys got up to fight back to back they faced each other drew thier swords and shot each other a deff policeman heard this noise came and shot the two dead boys if you dont believe this lie is true ask the blind man he saw it too

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Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped six's mom.

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have you ever heard of the mexican that went to college...no...oh me neither

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Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators are whitWhen falling from trees, they kill you

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A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

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Yo mama is so fat she has a gym membership and a diet plan to lose weight

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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I like cookies... GIVE ME ICE CREAM.

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

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What do you call a black man riding a plane? A black man riding a plane.

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What moos like a cow? Another cow

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1: I know a lot of people hate Mondays, but my least favorite day of the week is Thursday. 2: Can I ask why? 1: Of course you can. Everyone has free will.

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What does a baby and a bowling ball share in common? They both displace a similar amount of water.

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Why did the little boy have gum on his shoe? Because he stepped on it

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm an orange.. Person 2: Are you an orange? Person1: No..

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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What did the teapot say to the teacup? Nothing. Teapots and teacups are inanimate objects, therefore, cannot speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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