How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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What did the down syndrome girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had Gonorrhea.

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What's worse than dying in the holocaust Dying on the last day of the holocaust

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What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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knock knock who's there? It's Jim we haven't seen each other since college Why hello there come on in

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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How did the Black man die at the KFC? Someone killed him.

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What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

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Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

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Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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