Non-Anti-Joke.com!

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Marla should be home by now, it's nearly 6." He was unaware he had lost his tractor until the next morning.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and order a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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your mommas so stupid she has trouble doing things an average person would manage easily

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Okay, yeah red, but you wont ever get to see it because you have gone stale.

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What do you get when you mix a baby and a fork? An abortion.

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You have 10 apples and 12 cabbages How many pizzas can you fit on the roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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Robin, Get in the Car

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my gave me a game i said thank you

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don't know u tell me

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whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

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A muslin walks into a bar, and has the same equal rights as everyone else and orders a pint of fosters.

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What's worse than finding a bug in your soup? The Holocaust

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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No one walks into a bar The bar is slowly losing business and will soon be forclosed upon and will also lose his home as a result causing his family and himself to be homeless and slowly suffer on the streets

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Wanna hear something funny? David is addicted to mw3 like the other 3 million people!

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Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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