How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

my dick is like a bridge. i dont know why.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Roses are red, Violets are blue, There's gas in your shower, Because you're a Jew. Love, Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -53

whats the capital of congo famine

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Who's on first? Garvey.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the Nazi Doctor drown a Jew in the lake? To see how long it would take a Jew to drown with its big nose. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down +42

did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +34

roses are black violets are grey... im color blind sorry

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

thumb_up thumb_down +32

- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the boy fall down the stairs? Because he tripped.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

thumb_up thumb_down +30

so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a Jew A Jew

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops