TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A WOOD

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

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Yo momma's so black, when yo poppa rides her, he says "Look! I'm Hiccup!"

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Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

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Knock Knock *opens the door*

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The sentence below is an anti-joke.

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What is the difference between a shark and a human? A shark is a type of fish with a full cartilaginous skeleton and a highly streamlined body and a human is the only living species in the Homo genus.

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

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An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

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What is in the center of our galaxy? Some stars, space, and nebula.

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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What happened to thepeanut who went to NYC? He was assulted

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender goes why do you have a cane? The man goes "I'm blind."

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what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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