Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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What's worse, a dead baby or an abortion? A dead baby on a bayonet

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Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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I am white, you are black, we can be friends, racism was abolished.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, This is Patrick.

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What did the boy call the man that kicked the cat? "Sad twat"

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What did Electra give her Dad for his birthday? Head. That's why her name is Electra.

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What do you call it, when a jew makes fun of a black guy? Racism.

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Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Well, he was dangerously fatigued from having weeped passionately the entire night in the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of 20 years and consequently finding out that his only daughter was in a tragic school bus accident.

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Moooo

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

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what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water jack fell down and broke his neck and he was dead... The End

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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Daisies are green, poppies are white, I have a headache.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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