A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

What's worse than a trash can of dead babies? The one at the bottom that has to eat it's way out.

What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

Why did the elephant fall down? He was shot by poachers.

What does a eagle and a bunny have in common.. nothing they're two different animals.

Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

Christopher Reeves walks into a bar.

what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

Q. Why did the Chineese man eat a banana? A. He was hungry, and he was craving a banana.

Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

What does a baby and a bowling ball share in common? They both displace a similar amount of water.

I just threw up..In my pants.

What's three times as dangerous than a war? Three wars.

Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

what is red and smells like paint red paint

why was the boy crying he had cancer

Q.) How do you make a whore blush? A.) Tell her she has pretty eyes.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

when life gives you lemons throw them away.. they are probably bad

What's brown and adhesive? A stick

Why did the man stop playing his computer game? The SWAT busted down his door and quickly pinned him down and arrested him for the murder of 7 families, he was charged for life in prison.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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