HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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Why was the little girl sad? Why???? Because an elephant stamped on her, and shat on her.

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what is worst than 1 bee stings two bee stings what is worst than two bee stings holocaust what is worse than three bee stings getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Q: How did the black man cross the Atlantic? A: He flew with an airliner, a large fixed-wing aircraft for transporting passengers and cargo.

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CFL

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Yo momma's so fat she ate Sally's arms. Knock Knock Who's There. The police we have a warrant for your mothers arrest on charges of cannibalism and kidnapping.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he wanted to

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E M I L Y L Y N C H B I L L I E J E A N L A R K I N YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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I once went to a Haitian party, yea.. The DJ really brought the house down.

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oh whatever donald trump's not going to be president. stop pretending he is

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There's a cat, a dog, a rat and a goat... I don't know how the goat got in there?

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A horse walks into a bar, and orders a drink. The bartender is amazed at first, but then remembers that he just did acid.

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A Jew walked into Germany. He never walked back out.

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Q: Why do homeless people smell bad? A: Because they live on the street and they dont take showers it's very sad sometimes.

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How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought that the second one would have seen it.

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? I lost my tractor!

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But who would want to sell us out and why?

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What is blue and feels like fluff? Blue fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops