Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

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Woman are equal and deserve respect just kidding they should suck my ****

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Why celebrate your birthday, its just getting closer and closer the death.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was trying to kill himself in the fastest and easiest way due to his drinking problems, which in the first place separated him him from his wife, who is fighting with him in court for custody of there only child ,Steven. He can not even pay the rent on his apartment or hold a job to pay child support..he is also in debt.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

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America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in front of your door? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on your wall? Art.

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A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam all get on the same flight. About half-way through an engine begins to smoke and stutters to a halt. Fortunately, the pilot has been trained for these situations and lands the aircraft safely.

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

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A man walks into a bar an orders a few pints. He then goes home and brutally rapes his wife and chains his staring kids to a fencepost in the backyard along with their deceased dog named Spot.

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Why does Beyonc'e sing ''to the left to the left''? Because black women have no rights.

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Things to do get an A on my test win my hockey game become immortal well that escalated quickly

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soccer

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What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

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What do you call a moldy apple? ... A moldy apple.

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops