What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

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whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

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Haikus are easy But they often dont make sense flying flamingos

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There's an african american, a latino, and an asian man riding in the car, whos driving? Obciously one of the three

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

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how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny

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Your mother is so bad at cooking that people often remark on how bad at cooking she is.

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What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

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When is a door not a door? Never.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

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Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

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Wheres my hood? Behind your neck.

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River Ravi flows in which state? Liquid state.

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What is white And taste like sheep A sheep

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Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops