Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit halfway by a car.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I suck at poetry. Nice tits.

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how do you save a black man ... u don't

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a ab

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When life gives you lemons, sell them. Rejoice in your free money.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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Why did a man get fired from the M&M store? He was color blind.

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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VAL SUCKS

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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This is sparta No this is patrick

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What do you call a black man with a gun? Officer.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a shiny new Cadillac? I don't have a shiny new Cadillac in my garage.

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What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? (NO) Neither have I!

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2 drunk men walk out of a bar, they see a dog on the corner licking himself. One drunk says "man, I wish I could do that" The other drunk says "you might want to pet him first"

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other muffin says nothing because it is a muffin.

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Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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Why doesn't Stephen Hawking play football? Because he's a nerd.

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What's red and has wheels? A red car

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What do you call a man covered in bees? Nothing, you'll startle the bees!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops