What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

This anti-joke below is hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy are all sitting on a park bench. They share several minutes of uncomfortable silence due to cultural differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: Why did the black man win the 100 meter dash? A: Because ever since he heard of this event, he has spent weeks preparing for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the black man hired at the clothing store? He needed some money to feed his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Executioner: Would you like to make a statement? Mr Murderer: Yes, I would love to sing a song. Executioner: Very well. Begin. Mr Murderer: There were 6 billion in the bed, and the little one said roll over, roll over. So they all rolled over and one fell out...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Lewis

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's a fun thing to do on a plane? Make a bolt to the pilot, smash his brains in with a iron pipe and make the plane plummet a few hundred feet with a maniacal laugh until you wake up from your dream and scream at your mother to wipe you.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q. Why did Steve Carell, the 40 year old virgin, fail to get laid? A. Erectile Dysfunctioning.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops