What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

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What does a man want more than sex? Nothing.

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What's flaming and has wheels? A firepit. I lied about the wheels.

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Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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how many pieces of wood can a lumberjack cut in a minute? three dead squrlles a hat and and half of a tree oh and a bus. and if u get in his way alot of guts spewed every where

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because Osama bin Laden is dead.

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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What happened to that guy who fell? He died from car accident 3 days later.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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Knock knock ? Who's there ? Ipe Ipe who ? You sick !

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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What's the worst part about aids? Telling your wife and kids.

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What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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Knock, knock -The door's open.

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What's bad about the the 3 black Jews that just died...... They were my friends

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What is the difference between England and yogurt? One is a Western-European country and the other is a dairy product.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

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3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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