how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

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Your mom is so stupoid she put a piece of paper on the TV and called it paper view!

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

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roses are red, violets are blue, apparently you are blind or else I wouldn't be telling this to you.

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Thank you Jesus, for this wonderful meal we have tonight. De nada.

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why did the chicken cross the road he didnt he was hit by a van

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Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.

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An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

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How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna ride bikes?

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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My life is a dream in of itself.. inception???

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese. Believe it or not he is actually multilingual, he speaks Spanish and French as well.

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Thats what she said

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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A man meets the girl of his dreams. Too bad the man will die in 3 days due to terminal cancer

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? Because that would be assault, and not only assault but aggravated assault, since you are using a weapon to do it. Plus, the lawyer would have an advantage over you in court during the trial, due to having a law degree.

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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