When life gives you lemons, you throw them at your friends. If they throw them back, duck

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What did the fat black man do? Get a gym membership.

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whats the best part of having sex with twenty-three year olds? there's twenty of them.

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a rock at it

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

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Brother Bro-ther Broad her Soap

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who dosent like to wear shirts and is not straight Petko Manchev

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A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a stupid chicken wandering around.

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a man walks into a bar some other people get up and greet him as they are his friends. he then has a great night with his friends. he goes home and goes to sleep. he wakes up with a man next to him

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Roses are rainbow. Violets are rainbow. Everything is rainbow. Thats why you don't take LSD.

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what do you call a baby rapest jordan gregg

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Why couldn't the man lick his elbows? Because it is scientifically proven that over 98% of humans can not lick their elbows.

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What's the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same

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Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

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what do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a spaceship? a dinosaur spaceship

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What do you call a puppy in alaska? A cold PUPPY!!!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others just don't

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What made your girlfriend laugh to death? You dropped my pants.

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How do you make a great cake? Bett Crocker books

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How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops