Why did the little girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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Do u know where the glue is? nope, i just glued my hand to this table, so im no help to u

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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What did Jimmy do on his 8th birthday? Turn 8.

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was shot in the face

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96

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After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

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Q:what has 6 legs and rides a unicycle! A: nothing!!! Duh!

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a cat? I take mu cleats off when I jump on a trampoline.

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three jews walk into a bar. then a bear mauls them.

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How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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Knock Knock Who's there? F F who? F you.

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A seal walks into a club.

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If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Tests.

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It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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A black man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun! Then he returns it and leaves.

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

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Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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