what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two muffins are baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the second and says, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" The second muffin replies, "Holy crap a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. It was a footless chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

knock knock who's there? hope

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Daddy drinks, Because you cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how many babies does it take to fill up a blender? None. they all died before being put in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did rishi say to jess ? GOOD ONE

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call an African American witch doctor dressed in ceremonial robes flying a plane? A Pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than the holocaust? Anal.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Even though Jenny was retarded, her parents didn't love her any less than the family dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

German bedtime story: There once was a boy who liked to suck his thumbs. His mother told him to stop, but he wouldn't. So she cut of his thumbs. Now he has none. Goodnight.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how do u drown a blond you put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops