If Oscar Meyer had a dog, what breed would it be? A golden retriever.

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Did you hear about the guy who came onto his best friend's wife? Yeah, she handed him some kleenex after and told him to wipe it off.

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''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

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Q:What the difference between a piano and a guitar A: Nothing, there both instruments and i lied about the difference

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Why did the blonde ask the doctor if she should get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anal surgery is the only solution.

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why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

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Hey, I just met you. Nice to meet you.

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I walked into a Mcdonald's and ordered a Big Mac. I regretted it later.

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ask me if i'm a tree are you a tree? No.

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what's the difference between dodo and doodoo doodoo is still around for you to see

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What do you call someone who thinks they're funny but in reality isn't? Adam chapali Knock knock Who's there? NOT adam chapali

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when you smile the whole world stops and stares for a while because you have one tooth and its half chipped.. and your a black mexican red head.

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

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What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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roses are red violets are blue i done you mom a favor by making you...banana and rice don't worry it'll taste just nice

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glens walk to the kitchen : The Green Mile

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops