Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because it never told anyone. Chickens can't talk.

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Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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Dave: Knock, knock Steven: Come in.

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What did the mexican fireman call his twin sons? nothing. they were stillborn

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Massie is a fatass

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Abortion.

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Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

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How many black teachers does it take to figure out 10 x 30. only one shes a very respected teacher

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Everyone in the bar is very happy for him considering he has regained the ability to walk

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A small boy is playing on the sidewalk. Then, he is approached by a black van. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away. Then, the man driving the van says, "So, how was your day, son?"

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny?

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Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

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yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, 200 l.b.s

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Knock knock "Who's there?" "Bark bark" "Bark Bark who?" "Bark bark bark bark bark bark."

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Actual jokes are now obsolete.

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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"Seriosly" You got a life buddy? Are you okay? Cant you see that I am totally rocking out on my imaginary air guitar which is now inside your mind? No you are not okay! Moral: YOU ARE NOT OKAY SPREAD THE WORD! INFORM THE WORLD! YOU ARE NOT OKAY! Moral2nd: "Seriously" though dawg, you cant keep watching over me all the time, I mean you I smell the hypocrisy, but are you guys AAAALWAYS HERE? DO NOT REPLY! WE REPEAT, DO NOT REPLY!rq

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops