If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

why did the Jew not attend school ? because he was 27

A Finn, a Swede and A Norwegian went to an island. The Norwegian shot them all.

How come grilled cheese?

Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

A black guy and a white guy jump out of a tree, who hits the ground first? They both hit at the same time while sustaining minor injuries.

Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

What does a eagle and a bunny have in common.. nothing they're two different animals.

Christopher Reeves walks into a bar.

What's worse than a trash can of dead babies? The one at the bottom that has to eat it's way out.

A man did not like this site

The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

antijoke is the best website.

Why did the elephant fall down? He was shot by poachers.

What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

"Where's your mom?' "She died last night. . ."

What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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