What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

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Want to here a joke? Me to...

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2 loaves of bread were in a bar they did nothing as they are inanimate objects

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar, has a few drinks, chats with some fans, and leaves. The very next day, Justin Bieber is out buying groceries.

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how many pieces of wood can a lumberjack cut in a minute? three dead squrlles a hat and and half of a tree oh and a bus. and if u get in his way alot of guts spewed every where

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Robin, get in the batmobile

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What do call a someone with no arms, legs, and has an eye patch? Names

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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I need a side cart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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What did the man want for his birthday? Chicken dinner serves 2-3 people

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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Jax vs Pig Jax: HOHAHOHOHAHOHAHOHA... Etc Pig *spinning head like neck is gonna break off* Shao Kahn: FINISH HIM! Jax: GOT YA! OH YEAH... BEASTIALI*Y, BEAST*ALITY? AGAIN?

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What's the difference between your wife and the kitchen? One is a living organism

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What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Why did the little girl fall to death? Because pigs can't fly. It's impossible.

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what did the rooster get for his birthday? nothing

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"Aids" "What?" "Yup, you just got aids­­­."

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What would you get if you crosses a potato and a frog? Nothing because potatoes cannot breed with animals

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Who hangs out with a girl all day every day while he's dating her for 4 months and still doesn't get his wiener touched. Adam claypool

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"Ask me if I'm a tree," "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Why did no one throw a fridge at the boy on the swing? Because fridges are heavy.

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Hey do you know who is in the yard? Not the boys, they all died in a horrific fire last Christmas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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