My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

Why did samba hurt her head? Because she fell out of her mum muff

Why don't you play cards with a cheetah? It will attack you.

Why were accents created? So when people go to Texas they come back sounding like a D-Bag.

Hey, did you see that episode of Glee last night? It was awesome! Especially that scene where they all sang. It wasn't as good as the previous ones, but I think the show it making a comeback.

Why did John McCain lose the election? He did not get as many votes as Barack Obama.

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was hoping to achieve greater economic prosperity and well-being for his family. penis.

A man walks to a baseball game what does he see? Many people

Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

What is red and green and goes round and round? A frog in a blender!

What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

Adam and Eve ate the apple and felt a bit ashamed and stuff. God looked upon them and said, well its just a fucking apple get outta here you kids! Adam and Eve also took things a bit too literal

LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

What do you get when you cross a gay eskimo and a black man? Nothing, as two male humans cannot reproduce.

Q:What's funny about a Jew marrying a Nazi? A:The situation

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing Jenga on September 11th.

Yo mums so fat she went on a diet.

Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

what do you call a kid in a wheelchair? . handicapped.

What happens when you cross a porcupine, a beaver, a duck, a go-cart, a dinosaur, a star, a cheap "Big 'n Beey" bathroom, and the cookie monster? Justin Bieber. XD

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...