Sarah lost both arms in a car accident Knock knock Who's there? Not sarah. Roses are red Violets are blue Wow. Clever Knock knock Who's there? Still not Sarah, as she is in a serious condition at her local hospital, and so is fighting for her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a black guy and a bench. A bench is wooden while a black guy has a human body composed of mostly water.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Chuck norris is seen standing outside a bakery in Paris holding numchucks. He just finished lunch

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A guy walks into a bar. He has a couple beers, gets in his car and goes home. He got arrested on the way because it is illegal to drink and drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock *Opens door* Hi John, you got here right on time!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a black man? Black

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

hickory dickory dock no one cares

thumb_up thumb_down +9

,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

a. why? b. because

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Believing in God may be a sign of autism Kappa

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Once soon a time there was a boy named steven. He dropped his ice cream because... You know the rest

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you approach a hot guy in the library? Very quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Barack Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a fly without wings? Injured and left for dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. Why did the man die? A. Natural Causes

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops