a man walks into a bar and was arrested because it wasn't a bar it was a bank and he shot and killed 4 people during the armed robbery

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to go to heaven because his girlfriend Margaret was cooked into chicken sandwhiches, and he had no kids and he didn't want to marry someone else, so he tried to get ran over but no cars hit him so he cooked himself. AND so he became KFC-Style chicken wings. BUUUT since no one ate them, he grabbed them up from heaven and commented on how delicious he was and proceeded to eat more and then exploded, sending him to heaven's heaven. But it was just a dream. And Margaret had to do laundry some more today because he freaking caused a urine tsunami. You're welcome.

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A young black guy was explaining how he was raised by a single mother

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Hhahahahahhahhahahahahhaahhayournanisdeadhahhahahahahahahah

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What do you call a muslim on an airplane? A airline passenger.

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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An atheist and a priest agree to a public debate. The priest doesn't make much of an attempt to argue because there is a young boy in his podium giving him a handjob.

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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How is a fat girl like a tiny motorcycle? She isn't, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking how she might be.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

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what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

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what is the difference between a boy scout and a jew? boy scouts come back from camp.

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

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True or false , is it hotter in the summer or in the city? False, because blue monkeys don't eat orangutan bones.

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How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

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a christian man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a jewish man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a muslim man asked god a question. he too, did not get an answer. an atheist man asked god a question. he got his answer.

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What did the blondes left leg say to her right leg? Nothing they haven't met yet.

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Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

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What did the coney say to the hotdog? At least i kill people.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks why the long face? The horse, unable to comprehend human speech, promptly craps on the floor and leaves.

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What did the 14 year old girl get on her birthday? A cake that read, "You're adopted"!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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