I would tell you a joke but I'm not funny

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How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

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Why cant helen keller drive Because shes a woman

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A women walks into a bar which is means she is pretty rich to be able to have a bar in her kitchen

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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What did the black jewish homosexual say to the conquistador? Nothing as they were both from entirely different time periods.

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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* Are you afraid of dinosaurs? * No, they're all dead.

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Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

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Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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why did the girl fall of the swing someone threw a refrigerator at her

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What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

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Why did the little boy tell his classmates jokes? To try and fit in for once.

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What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

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What's brown, smells like shit, and are annoying as hell? Taking shits

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What did Hitler say to his empire, A lot of stuff that I am to lazy to look up, all i know that the holocaust was bad and we shouldn't repeat it.

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What do gay kittens eat? Cat food. Friskies and Fancy Feast are both popular brands.

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Who would be an amazing GOP VP? Chris Christie -Mitt Romney

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What was so special about Anna Frank's diary? Nothing. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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