a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

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Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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A man says to another man, "Why the long face?" He then replies, "I have an elongated face, hands, and feet due to acromegaly."

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What s the difference between a pigeon ?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know you have to ask the chicken if you speak chicken

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Roses are Red Violets are Red Grass is Red Trees are Red My yard is on fire.

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What is the difference between a black man and a potato? Well, there are a great many differences. But the main one is probably that a potato is a potato, and a black man is a black man.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

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What is yellow and writes? -A Ball Point Banana!

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Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

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Q: why are black people good at basketball A: god you racist bastard

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Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

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What did the Po-Po do to the speeding Mexican? Gave him a ticket.

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What do you find in a pile of dead babies? ************************************************ A dead baby.

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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What did the little boy become for Halloween? An orphan, his parents were killed that day.

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My dad

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What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

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What did the cat say to the towel? Meow.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office, naked but wrapped in Saran Wrap. The Doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops