Slow and steady wins the race, But only in some cases. Mostly never.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the gate open, letting all his livestock escape, and crushing his prospects of trying to keep his family fed.

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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What are kids supposed to do in American classrooms if a nuke hits nearby? Hide under the desk. (This is a fact) Moral: Like that is gonna help... seriously that is ridiculous!

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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Roses are red violents are blue I have 5 figures and the middle one is for you

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What does it mean when somebody is Jewish? They eat palahuardo por sinquevos for breakfast. Qua.

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Question: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Answer: Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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Why do Christians believe in God? Because they're stupid

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What starts with Pu and ends with Y, And homosexuals tend not to like them. "Pushy" People.

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frogs are green and grass is greener i just blew up ur mom and ur the cleaner now get to work SLAVE

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Two muffins are in an oven. They procede to bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes.

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Whats funnier than a barrel full of dead babies? two barrels full of dead babies.

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What is red? A rock painted red

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

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A guy watches a porno. When it is over, he said; "Wow, that was deep"

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? What? I don't have a Corvette in my garage Wanna hear something gross? Sure. 1 at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something grosser? Yea. It's eating its way out

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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your mommas so fat she has been advised to diet and excercise or run the risk of terminal illness

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

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A man goes into a bar and gets drunk. He realizes that he is too drunk to drive and calls a cab to bring him home.

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A Jew walks into Macy's

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops