A man sets his house on fire. His wife comes home, what did she ask? Why'd you set the house on fire?

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, My house is red, I am on fire

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why did Sarah fall of the swing... she had no arms Knock Knock.... Whos there .... Not Sarah

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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It's Christmas in Iraq. Merry Christmas

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How do you get a baby into a bowl? Use a blender. How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Tortilla chips.

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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Benjamin Frankin was playing with his Xbox...

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see.

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a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Is that rash contagious?

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If Selfish Sam has twelve cookies and Tricky Todd asks for three then how many cookies does sam have left? Twelve. Remember he's selfish

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What do you get when you mix C4 with a lit- KABOOM!!!

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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What do you get when you jump into the Red Sea? Wet.

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LA Police, Christine Collins called. She wants her son back.

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Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops