There once was a man from Nantucket Who got his head stuck in a bucket He yanked and he yowled, he hollered and howled, Then gave up and grumbled, "Aw, I guess I'll have to go to the doctor."

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two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

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What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

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There was a blond girl and a brunette girl. The brunette had a pink shirt that had " Abercrombie & Fitch" on it. The blond looks at the brunette and asks, where did you get your shirt?

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" Surprised, the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named 'Bob'?"

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Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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koj yog ib tug tsoob qaib eater, uas nyiam mus rau Peer li qub poj niam qhov chaw mos raws li ib tug nyiam ua! (Google Translate may help)

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Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

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The latter three thousand pages of this website.

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Why did they bury the fireman on the east side of the green grassy hill, to the left of the old well, underneath the huge apple tree? Because he was dead.

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A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

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What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period. Damnit, ignore that.

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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Whats worse than having a parking cone rammed up your ass? Realizing that a big orange cone is up your ass.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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What's worse than getting raped then killed? Getting killed then raped.

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How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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