After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

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why didn't paul ride the horse? he was busy

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? i don't know, he hasn't unwrapped it yet

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Q:Why did the boy drop his icecream? A: His arm was chopped off by a ninja

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i killed my family

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What is the best part about being in bed with twenty eight year olds? There are twenty of them

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 1027

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a cat? I take mu cleats off when I jump on a trampoline.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing Jenga on September 11th.

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Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Tie her down and plant a bamboo seed under her.

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A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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What is worse than 3 lesbians in a telephone booth? 6 squirrels donkey punching your urethra.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

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A man gets pushed in to a pole...

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

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What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a stupid chicken wandering around.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops