A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What does a Jedi say when another Jedi farts? A: Who sabered the cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the girl say when she was hit by a train? Nothing she exploded on impact

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ain't idn't a word.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Damn Nero... So you are saying there is no hope left, the underground society is dead and buried.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a white guy a black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I wife my butt after I poop. I poop out of my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Who visits Satan on Christmas? A dyslexic box.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats the difference between cats and dogs? ....cats suck

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's green and has wheels? The farmer's tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

13 =B you just learned something

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops